Thoughts on a Provider

I go up the hill, following the provider. Yes they usually have their lives set, and everything you could possibly want. But I only follow just to see how they do it. I don't want someone else's path. I do like the providing, but I think it'd be a bit of a waste to provide the same exact way for followers of my own. It'd be kind of a rip off, a reused product. I like to walk up the hill with him at times just to see how he does it and how he feels about it. Then I note all the things that I wish to change, and just add these ingredients to my recipe for a "perfect life". Its never really a perfect life, but its perfect to someone isn't it? Life can be all perception, so I think it is right to say that the world does revolve around you. It revolves around everyone, every person just a point of reflection. As you know your role, you see how everyone revolves around you, depends on you. You can see the power you have to disrupt, when you don't fulfill your role, people can't get their things done, people blame you. The world can be a bunch of complex relations, so life kind of revolves around the relations you have. Relations you have in work, in school, in family, in friends. You have a certain role in all those I think. I think that may be why I like to constantly change my role, change my relations. Kind of like trying on clothes, got to see which one fits just right, looks just right. Eventually, I'll find a set of relations that I think I will like a lot and I won't want to change. Or at least I hope. Then it will probably change on its own and I'll have to deal with it. Its that kind of hope and uncertainty that I like that keeps me excited to wake up and try out my relations for the day. Just to know I can change my own world by telling one person off or telling one person how special they are (to me) makes me feel pretty special. I wonder why we were always told the world doesn't revolve around us, didn't it make you feel less powerful?